My saddest and most traumatizing or lesson invoking TV episodes. Along with personal saddest moment story.

Last night I was reading articles about the saddest tv moments of all time, and I have to say futurama showing up a lot as number one sure shows alot about who wrote them.  My top 5 saddest TV moments of all time in no particular order as they tie..

1.  All In the Family, The miscarriage episode
2.  7th Heaven;  The episode where Lucy's friend dies and her breakdown following it in the hallway will forever be engraved in my mind.  I cry every time.
3.  8 Simple Rules, The episode and two after John Ritter died.  Never a dry eye.
4.  Army Wives Too many sad moments to count but the most recent was Claudia Joys death.
5.  ER- Mark Greenes Death

As for Traumatizing or Life Lesson Tv episodes in no particular order except #1.

1.  Good Times.  A young Janet Jackson plays abused child Penny.  The scene that still sends shivers down my spine is Penny's mother is coming at her slowly with a Hot Iron and penny is backing away saying no mama I promise I'll be good, I'm Sorry...  This showed me that there are mothers that REALLY hurt their children far more than any spanking.

2.  Different Strokes.  The Bicycle shop episode.  It dealt with molestation

3.  Punky Brewster gets two nods.  1 for the episode where they are playing hide and seek and Cherry shut herself into an empty freezer and almost died.  2.  Where a young Candace Cameron guest spots as neighbor Jenny and finds herself on a Milk Carton...Taught about Parental Abduction

4.  Family Ties-  The episode where the fathers close friend (the kids called him uncle) inappropriately hugged and kissed Mallory.

5.  Facts of Life-  A new girl at eastland beats out Blair for president of the class and ends of killing herself.  It was really sad and all the girls had different reactions so it demonstrated wonderfully that different people feel different emotions when coping with a situation such as that.

This internal conversation about TV shows got me thinking about what if my life was a TV show, what would be the saddest scene. (Since I was young I imagined a Lifetime movie about my life),  Now the answer may surprise you.  It wasn't the rape, nor anything else like that, it wasn't the situation with my father, or any funeral or bullying incident or even the traumatizing birth of Jordan or being told I had  the weekend or 3 years to live at the most the week after I had Jordan while lying in the ICU.

It happened November 28th 2004.  I had been pregnant for 11 weeks.  We were excited as this was to be my husbands first child, and we felt it was a girl.  I know we are weird.  Anyhow.  I woke up from a dream that I miscarried to stomach cramps which didn't worry me much, it was the spotting that did.  I took a bus to the Urgent Care at my Clinic and they told me to go to the hospital.  (I had already had a doctors appointment, and was on wic and someone gave us a bunch of baby stuff. such as a new stroller, a new car seat, and new nice bedding) anyhow.  I called my brother Jamie to ask him to drop me off at the hospital.  This was probably around 2pm.  I got to United Hospital of St. Paul and got triaged.  I sat for 5 hours waiting and worrying.  All of the sudden I had these huge cramps and urge to do a number two.  I went into the waiting room bathroom and went.  I knew in my heart what was happening and it hurt and I got up and was still gushing blood and fluids.  I looked and well i will save the graphics but it is a site I will never forget and haunts me to this day.  I was crying and heard a knock on the door.  I opened it and it was the triage nurse asking if everything was okay, (some people were concerned about me as they saw me go in but not come out for a while), I shook my head and pointed.  She said oh dear...then said it is your turn and then flushed the toilet.  I walked back to the room and the new nurse asked why I thought I was having a miscarriage and how many pads have I soaked an hour.  I looked at her and said um one...just now and told her about the bathroom.  She was really cold and wasn't listening and thought I was crazy.  I was sent for an ultrasound where I had to empty myself again and again messed up their bathroom, the tech came in and helped clean up, They did an internal ultrasound and her face wasn't looking good and she wouldn't show me the screen.  I got up and the gurney was soaked.  i apologized.  I got back to the exam room and the doctor came in and said perhaps you weren't as far along as you thought.  I show 5 weeks.  Apparently there was a stem left, and my hormone levels were still there, I said I was told by a doctor 5 weeks ago i was 5 weeks pregnant.  Then he finally relented and said yes you had a miscarriage and said he was sorry.  He wrote out a prescription for Percocet and the Nurse came in with a large envelope.  It was a Miscarriage/Stillbirth Grief Packet.  I am so thankful I received this. It was now 9 pm and I was discharged and didn't know what to do.  So I called my Grandma to come get me. When she pulled up and I got in the car she said she was so sorry, this was a reaction I wasn't expecting as me being pregnant wasn't a preferable event.  I was comforted by her love and sympathy.  I got home and had to tell my soon to be husband.  He was sad and didn't know what to say or do.  I took a pill and he helped me into bed and I watched ALL in the Family on Nick at Nite.   What made this the saddest moment of my life was that I was all alone.  With everything else there was always someone to talk to or therapy or whatnot.  No one really talks about Miscarriage even though it is very common.  I did walk to my church a few days later and asked my priest questions about what happens to miscarried babies souls, and such.  That helped alot and so did the book the hospital gave me and the grief website GROWW.  To this day I still think about it once in a while.  And all miracles behold.  3 years to the day I found out I was pregnant with the baby I miscarried I found out I was pregnant with Jordan.  They both had the same due dates.  Yes everything happens for a reason and I have reconciled that loss.  But the memory of how alone and scared and raw I was still remains.  Since we felt this was a girl we did name her...Abigal Irene...part of the healing process I guess.     (I had miscarried a baby a week after I found out I was pregnant 4 mths earlier) that one didn't impact me as much because besides two positive pregnancy tests there was no real confirmation I was pregnant and I miscarried the day I was to have my period.  We named that one Jayme Lynn.  The good side of this was the two losses I had allowed my pregnancy with Jordan to be considered high risk which was very lucky as almost lost him the first trimester due to a drop in progesterone levels, and then in my second trimester my amniotic fluid started leaking and I was on bed rest almost until 34 weeks when I gave birth.  If it wasn't for my OBGYN's concern about the two previous miscarriages they may have missed some of the things they caught due to almost weekly visits and every two week ultrasounds and that was specifically in relation to my miscarriages. I didn't really ever mention my miscarriages after I got the comment "Good you don't need another kid anyway".  Yeah I knew that, but it didn't make it hurt any less and it probably hurt more that it came from a family member.  It wasn't as if I dropped my second piece of cheesecake or shrunk a bodysuit....it was a life inside of me and that I was attached to in a way.  In that bathroom, in that ER waiting room, There was a point I was collapsed onto the floor crying.  I can see that in my mind like a tv show...I can see the camera going in from a closeup to a slowly retracting overhead shot...end scene.

Funny thing if you type in saddest miscarriage episodes on TV you get 7 pages of Beyonce's miscarriage revelation.  But I will never forget the All in the Family where Sally Struthers miscarried the baby and it showed she was sad and the family was sad even Archie.  Now a days if a miscarriage is talked about nothing is really shown, and the grief process is non existent perpetuating the myth that it is no big deal personally to the person that it happened to and is not a real loss.   But to each their own. If this happens to a friend or family member and you don't know what the right thing to say is...Just be honest and say "I'm sorry I just don't know what to say", Don't offer good tidings about what a good thing it is due to whatever situation they are in...they probably already know that inside but it doesn't move along the sadness and could possibly compound it.  Allow them to feel whatever they are feeling and if it is something you can't deal with because lets face it some people can't deal with other peoples sadness very well, espicially if they don't understand it.  it is important not to minimize it at that point.  If you want to help them thru their grief but can't personally relate or are tired of it all, take it upon yourself to google miscarriage support groups or local support groups for early pregnancy loss, check out a book for them at the library as there are several great ones.  I have included a list of resources below.

http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6260505/miscarriage_support

http://miscarriagesupport.com/

http://www.nationalshare.org/

There are many many more.  Unfortunately it seems that Groww.org has ceased operations due to being hacked.  That site helped my best friend after her more significant loss, and helped me after mine.  There were many caring people going thru the same thing.  And it had rooms for every situation you can imagine.  If this has recently happened to you or has and you are reflecting upon it and need to talk to someone that knows what you are feeling, I recommend online support groups, they are great for long term support or  if you are just having a bad night years later and it hits you out of no where.  Believe me it happens.

Peace and Love
Heather :-)

Hormel Rev Wraps

As part of a current BzzAgent campaign, I received several coupons for Hormel Rev Wraps including one for $2.00 off which is FREE for me.  We went right to Walmart and purchased one of every flavor, including, Ham and Cheese, Pepperoni Pizza, Peppered Turkey, Meat Lovers Pizza, Italian Style Ham, Italian Style and lastly Spicy Italian Style. There are only 8 flavors the one we haven't tried is Hot Pepper Ham.  These wraps are attractively packaged with easy opening.  What you get is a wrap that is like a Flat Out.  Not a tortilla but a flat-bread, with a few slices of meat and cheese rolled up.

The Hormel Rev Wraps have at least 15g of protein for energy hence the name Rev Wrap.  Click http://revwraps.com/Products.aspx  for the nutritional information.

I have 3 boys that are all obsessed with sandwiches and expected these to disappear in no time.  The youngest took one bite and put it back in the refrigerator and he loves ham and cheese anything.  He didn't appreciate the bread component. The two older boys said they were just okay.  This was evidenced in that a week later I found two still left.  I found the middle of the bottom very moist from condensation, and they were dry as there was no condiment packet.  I did enjoy the flavors though and with a smear of light mayo or miracle whip they are more palatable.  I will be buying these again but sending them with a mayo packet we have stockpiled.  The price point in Little Town WI Walmart was $1.78.  Now you can click http://bricks.coupons.com/Start.asp?tqnm=wiovfxx95798859&bt=vg&o=110997&c=HO&p=IsrH6fMb  for a $1.00 off coupon and try it for yourself.

My favorite was the Peppered Turkey.