My saddest and most traumatizing or lesson invoking TV episodes. Along with personal saddest moment story.

Last night I was reading articles about the saddest tv moments of all time, and I have to say futurama showing up a lot as number one sure shows alot about who wrote them.  My top 5 saddest TV moments of all time in no particular order as they tie..

1.  All In the Family, The miscarriage episode
2.  7th Heaven;  The episode where Lucy's friend dies and her breakdown following it in the hallway will forever be engraved in my mind.  I cry every time.
3.  8 Simple Rules, The episode and two after John Ritter died.  Never a dry eye.
4.  Army Wives Too many sad moments to count but the most recent was Claudia Joys death.
5.  ER- Mark Greenes Death

As for Traumatizing or Life Lesson Tv episodes in no particular order except #1.

1.  Good Times.  A young Janet Jackson plays abused child Penny.  The scene that still sends shivers down my spine is Penny's mother is coming at her slowly with a Hot Iron and penny is backing away saying no mama I promise I'll be good, I'm Sorry...  This showed me that there are mothers that REALLY hurt their children far more than any spanking.

2.  Different Strokes.  The Bicycle shop episode.  It dealt with molestation

3.  Punky Brewster gets two nods.  1 for the episode where they are playing hide and seek and Cherry shut herself into an empty freezer and almost died.  2.  Where a young Candace Cameron guest spots as neighbor Jenny and finds herself on a Milk Carton...Taught about Parental Abduction

4.  Family Ties-  The episode where the fathers close friend (the kids called him uncle) inappropriately hugged and kissed Mallory.

5.  Facts of Life-  A new girl at eastland beats out Blair for president of the class and ends of killing herself.  It was really sad and all the girls had different reactions so it demonstrated wonderfully that different people feel different emotions when coping with a situation such as that.

This internal conversation about TV shows got me thinking about what if my life was a TV show, what would be the saddest scene. (Since I was young I imagined a Lifetime movie about my life),  Now the answer may surprise you.  It wasn't the rape, nor anything else like that, it wasn't the situation with my father, or any funeral or bullying incident or even the traumatizing birth of Jordan or being told I had  the weekend or 3 years to live at the most the week after I had Jordan while lying in the ICU.

It happened November 28th 2004.  I had been pregnant for 11 weeks.  We were excited as this was to be my husbands first child, and we felt it was a girl.  I know we are weird.  Anyhow.  I woke up from a dream that I miscarried to stomach cramps which didn't worry me much, it was the spotting that did.  I took a bus to the Urgent Care at my Clinic and they told me to go to the hospital.  (I had already had a doctors appointment, and was on wic and someone gave us a bunch of baby stuff. such as a new stroller, a new car seat, and new nice bedding) anyhow.  I called my brother Jamie to ask him to drop me off at the hospital.  This was probably around 2pm.  I got to United Hospital of St. Paul and got triaged.  I sat for 5 hours waiting and worrying.  All of the sudden I had these huge cramps and urge to do a number two.  I went into the waiting room bathroom and went.  I knew in my heart what was happening and it hurt and I got up and was still gushing blood and fluids.  I looked and well i will save the graphics but it is a site I will never forget and haunts me to this day.  I was crying and heard a knock on the door.  I opened it and it was the triage nurse asking if everything was okay, (some people were concerned about me as they saw me go in but not come out for a while), I shook my head and pointed.  She said oh dear...then said it is your turn and then flushed the toilet.  I walked back to the room and the new nurse asked why I thought I was having a miscarriage and how many pads have I soaked an hour.  I looked at her and said um one...just now and told her about the bathroom.  She was really cold and wasn't listening and thought I was crazy.  I was sent for an ultrasound where I had to empty myself again and again messed up their bathroom, the tech came in and helped clean up, They did an internal ultrasound and her face wasn't looking good and she wouldn't show me the screen.  I got up and the gurney was soaked.  i apologized.  I got back to the exam room and the doctor came in and said perhaps you weren't as far along as you thought.  I show 5 weeks.  Apparently there was a stem left, and my hormone levels were still there, I said I was told by a doctor 5 weeks ago i was 5 weeks pregnant.  Then he finally relented and said yes you had a miscarriage and said he was sorry.  He wrote out a prescription for Percocet and the Nurse came in with a large envelope.  It was a Miscarriage/Stillbirth Grief Packet.  I am so thankful I received this. It was now 9 pm and I was discharged and didn't know what to do.  So I called my Grandma to come get me. When she pulled up and I got in the car she said she was so sorry, this was a reaction I wasn't expecting as me being pregnant wasn't a preferable event.  I was comforted by her love and sympathy.  I got home and had to tell my soon to be husband.  He was sad and didn't know what to say or do.  I took a pill and he helped me into bed and I watched ALL in the Family on Nick at Nite.   What made this the saddest moment of my life was that I was all alone.  With everything else there was always someone to talk to or therapy or whatnot.  No one really talks about Miscarriage even though it is very common.  I did walk to my church a few days later and asked my priest questions about what happens to miscarried babies souls, and such.  That helped alot and so did the book the hospital gave me and the grief website GROWW.  To this day I still think about it once in a while.  And all miracles behold.  3 years to the day I found out I was pregnant with the baby I miscarried I found out I was pregnant with Jordan.  They both had the same due dates.  Yes everything happens for a reason and I have reconciled that loss.  But the memory of how alone and scared and raw I was still remains.  Since we felt this was a girl we did name her...Abigal Irene...part of the healing process I guess.     (I had miscarried a baby a week after I found out I was pregnant 4 mths earlier) that one didn't impact me as much because besides two positive pregnancy tests there was no real confirmation I was pregnant and I miscarried the day I was to have my period.  We named that one Jayme Lynn.  The good side of this was the two losses I had allowed my pregnancy with Jordan to be considered high risk which was very lucky as almost lost him the first trimester due to a drop in progesterone levels, and then in my second trimester my amniotic fluid started leaking and I was on bed rest almost until 34 weeks when I gave birth.  If it wasn't for my OBGYN's concern about the two previous miscarriages they may have missed some of the things they caught due to almost weekly visits and every two week ultrasounds and that was specifically in relation to my miscarriages. I didn't really ever mention my miscarriages after I got the comment "Good you don't need another kid anyway".  Yeah I knew that, but it didn't make it hurt any less and it probably hurt more that it came from a family member.  It wasn't as if I dropped my second piece of cheesecake or shrunk a bodysuit....it was a life inside of me and that I was attached to in a way.  In that bathroom, in that ER waiting room, There was a point I was collapsed onto the floor crying.  I can see that in my mind like a tv show...I can see the camera going in from a closeup to a slowly retracting overhead shot...end scene.

Funny thing if you type in saddest miscarriage episodes on TV you get 7 pages of Beyonce's miscarriage revelation.  But I will never forget the All in the Family where Sally Struthers miscarried the baby and it showed she was sad and the family was sad even Archie.  Now a days if a miscarriage is talked about nothing is really shown, and the grief process is non existent perpetuating the myth that it is no big deal personally to the person that it happened to and is not a real loss.   But to each their own. If this happens to a friend or family member and you don't know what the right thing to say is...Just be honest and say "I'm sorry I just don't know what to say", Don't offer good tidings about what a good thing it is due to whatever situation they are in...they probably already know that inside but it doesn't move along the sadness and could possibly compound it.  Allow them to feel whatever they are feeling and if it is something you can't deal with because lets face it some people can't deal with other peoples sadness very well, espicially if they don't understand it.  it is important not to minimize it at that point.  If you want to help them thru their grief but can't personally relate or are tired of it all, take it upon yourself to google miscarriage support groups or local support groups for early pregnancy loss, check out a book for them at the library as there are several great ones.  I have included a list of resources below.

http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a6260505/miscarriage_support

http://miscarriagesupport.com/

http://www.nationalshare.org/

There are many many more.  Unfortunately it seems that Groww.org has ceased operations due to being hacked.  That site helped my best friend after her more significant loss, and helped me after mine.  There were many caring people going thru the same thing.  And it had rooms for every situation you can imagine.  If this has recently happened to you or has and you are reflecting upon it and need to talk to someone that knows what you are feeling, I recommend online support groups, they are great for long term support or  if you are just having a bad night years later and it hits you out of no where.  Believe me it happens.

Peace and Love
Heather :-)

Hormel Rev Wraps

As part of a current BzzAgent campaign, I received several coupons for Hormel Rev Wraps including one for $2.00 off which is FREE for me.  We went right to Walmart and purchased one of every flavor, including, Ham and Cheese, Pepperoni Pizza, Peppered Turkey, Meat Lovers Pizza, Italian Style Ham, Italian Style and lastly Spicy Italian Style. There are only 8 flavors the one we haven't tried is Hot Pepper Ham.  These wraps are attractively packaged with easy opening.  What you get is a wrap that is like a Flat Out.  Not a tortilla but a flat-bread, with a few slices of meat and cheese rolled up.

The Hormel Rev Wraps have at least 15g of protein for energy hence the name Rev Wrap.  Click http://revwraps.com/Products.aspx  for the nutritional information.

I have 3 boys that are all obsessed with sandwiches and expected these to disappear in no time.  The youngest took one bite and put it back in the refrigerator and he loves ham and cheese anything.  He didn't appreciate the bread component. The two older boys said they were just okay.  This was evidenced in that a week later I found two still left.  I found the middle of the bottom very moist from condensation, and they were dry as there was no condiment packet.  I did enjoy the flavors though and with a smear of light mayo or miracle whip they are more palatable.  I will be buying these again but sending them with a mayo packet we have stockpiled.  The price point in Little Town WI Walmart was $1.78.  Now you can click http://bricks.coupons.com/Start.asp?tqnm=wiovfxx95798859&bt=vg&o=110997&c=HO&p=IsrH6fMb  for a $1.00 off coupon and try it for yourself.

My favorite was the Peppered Turkey.  

DIY First Aid Kit Deluxe

Hello Friends,

Are you like me and completely OCD about organizing and having every first aid product you need at hand?  I have three boys and there isn't a week that goes by that we don't need the first aid kit.  I have purchased many different pre made kits.  They are okay, however they don't have the volume or variety that i need or the ability to customize or the amount of different sized compartments necessary for a true all in one grab and go first aid kit.  I throw it in my beach bag or on the go bag when we go to the beach, park or road trips.  When home it is on my living room bookshelf.  Why not the bathroom, Heather?  you may ask.  Well how many times have you been near the bathroom when Owchie boo boo's occur?  Oh and our bathroom is on the second floor.  So I don't feel like running up the stairs while blood is spurting out of my child or husband.  

1.  I had a container that I had bought for my bead organization at Walmart for $5.99.  I never got around to putting my beads in it.  I had gotten annoyed with my J&J first aid kit and other supplies floating around my house, so I saw it and a light-bulb came on.  

2.  I have many different band aides for all needs.  I got waterproof, clear, colored, with anti biotic, Knee, Knuckle, Thomas, Dora, Mickey Mouse, fingertip, blister and many more.  

3.  I have enough space for the ice pack and antibiotic ointment, benedryl sticks, and even chew able baby aspirin in case of heart attack or even rubbing on a mosquito bite.  

Add caption

In the cover I have a travel size of ponds face wipes and a travel size of baby wipes.  See the baby asprin? A spot for everything and everything in its place.  Just how momma likes it.

Ice pack, tape, ointments, itch sticks, aveeno cream.  A spot for everyone.

 Cant forget Hand Sanitizer under are the BIG bandages!

Mosquito bands, aveeno, band aids galore.

Everything Fits!!

TastyKake Better than Hostess or dare I say Little Debbie?

Hey all in Cyber land.  I am having a great day, made even better when I opened my Influenster Vox Box and recieved a full size Reeses' TastyKake Kandy Bar Kake.  Can I just say Super Yummy.  It was so moist and the cream was delicious. It was very rich.  I have lived in MN and WI most of my life and we do not get TastyKake here.  I so wish we did.  Years ago when my kids were little we would visit their Aunt and Grandma and she would bring TastyKakes with her from PA.  It was the first time I tried them and I loved them.  I wish they would sell in WI.  TastyKake people the Midwest needs you too.  Lately all the Hostess Products seem too dry for my tastes and little debbie has lost her zest.  I mean I still love me a nutty bar but I would give it up for TastyKake.  Thank you Influenster and TastyKake for my complimentary Kandy Kake Bar.  It was a highlight in my day and came at the right time.

The Taste on ABC Tuesday 9/8c

Recently I was introduced to this new Cooking competition show on ABC called The Taste.  There are four teams of amateur and restaurant chefs being mentored by the likes of Anthony Bourdain,  food star Nigella Lawson, expert chef/author Ludo Lefebvre and chef/restaurateur Brian Malarkey.  . In each episode the groups will face team and individual challenges with a variety of culinary themes through various elimination rounds. For example last weeks episode was about creating sandwiches.  At the end of each episode, the mentors will have to judge the competitors' dishes blind -- with no knowledge of whose creation they're sampling, what they're eating, how it was prepared or whom they could send packing. 

I personally like that the judging is done this way.  No one's personality, back story or team position is influencing the judging.  The food is speaking for itself for once.  No longer do we sit thru self doubting stammering about what mistakes were made while the judges evil eye the chef while tasting their food.  I believe that could ruin the taste or sway opinion.  Shit happens but it doesn't excuse bad taste.  No longer is technique in play.  I personally believe it isn't how someone does it that matters as long as the results are good.  (as long as there was no immoral or illgalness involved).  Just like Math story problems.  It shouldn't matter if someone didn't use the right way to get to the answer as long as they arrived at the right one.  That puts pro and amateurs on the equal footing right there. 

There are definately some strong personalities and drama within the ring of contestants.  There will be people you root to go home because they rub you the wrong way and people you will stand behind because you love their stories and how they act.  

I'd definitely recommend you eat before you watch this because the food they create will make you hungry.  Immediately after the show I made my husband go to subway because I was hankering for a sub sandwich and subway is the only place in our town to get a descent one. 

You can watch all past episodes at The Taste Full Episodes  you won't be sorry.  Let me know what you thought.  Join me again Tuesday after the Taste for a episode recap and to discuss what we thought of the episode.  Did the judges choose the right person to go home.  What about that strange concoction.  Would you eat that?  What looked super yummy and what is your favorite recipe for the theme.

Nook Tablet VS. Kindle Fire Review

No money for an iPad.  There are many good multimedia tablets around.  I personally own the Nook Tablet.  Nook Tablet HD and the Kindle Fire.  I bought the Nook Tablet at the Walmart Black Friday sale.  They meant to give out the Nook (regular) but they gave 30 people the Nook Tablet for 99.00.  I liked it so much I bought my son one for Christmas.  When I went to purchase his I noticed that the HD was only 20 dollars more so I bought the Nook HD for myself and gave him my Nook.  I bought the Kindle Fire on the Valentines special for 159.00 on Amazon.com.  Now I own the Kindle, my husband has my Nook HD and my son has the Nook.  I have had months to review the Barnes and Noble Nook and a week to use the Kindle Fire.  

Spoiler Alert.  BUY THE KINDLE FIRE.  Not the Nook.  Read on for why.

My Nook Experience.

At first I was very impressed by the Barnes and Noble Nook.  Please consider this is my first fancy electronic experience.  I don't have a smart phone, I just got a laptop.  So my excitement was understandable.  Within two days my excitement floundered.  The Nook Tablet has a tendency to freeze and not come back on or turn off depending on the state of freezing.  This happened the second day I had it.  We took it back and got a replacement.  There is a way you can fix that.  Hold the power button and the nook button and the down volume until it shuts off.  Wait for two minutes and turn it back on.  Make sure the charge is at 34 percent or more.  Now when I say it freezes the screen goes black but you can hear sound.  Two weeks later we had to take it back again and they replaced it because the charger broke.  The little port that goes into the Nook broke off.  And it wasn't handled roughly at all.  

Now aside from that the App selection is limited.  There are ALOT of books however the popular books are not much cheaper than buying a book at the store.  Also very concerning on a Parental aspect is that when you search books there are many many many ADULT themed books for free or very cheap that are summarized in the open.  Anyone can see them etc.  There is no way to change that.  The books are not in an Adult area.  Like on eBay you have to retype your password and verify that you are 18 to view adult themed items.  Sure it doesn't stop anyone but for kids that are not looking for it they aren't going to be able to go directly into the listing without knowing hey this is something that I don't need to see.  

The Magazine reader which is a feature of the Nook Tablet that is bragged about keeps dying out while reading the magazines.  you have to force stop the program and restart it.  It is annoying while reading.  Book reading is great on the Nook.  Many of the Apps I had freeze and will not update or are limited versions of what is available other places.  I have been disappointed time and time again to try to get an app and see that it is available for every other device but the Nook.  Oh and just FYI the usable screen on the HD is smaller than on the Nook Tablet.  Yes it is the same screen size however on the Nook HD there is a bar on the bottom of the screen that is fixed.   I was kind of sad that the games I had on the Nook Tablet are larger than on the Nook HD.  Do NOT expect courteous American customer service when you call the 888 number for Nook Customer service.  The accents annoyed me so much I hung up the phone and cancelled the magazine subscription i called about.  It wasn't worth dealing with people whom didn't understand English and kept repeating whatever was on the screen.

The Kindle Fire right out of the box has a sleeker look that has glass screen corner to corner. A let down is that the wall plug in for the charger has to be purchased separately for 19.99 I got it for 9.99 because of a Valentines day promotion.  The App selection is amazing and many of the apps I had to pay for on the Nook were Free on the Kindle and there were many I couldn't get on the Nook.  Also the Apps I loved on the Nook were better and had more features on the Kindle.  The reader is comparable, the color is better.  The web usage is better and the interface is very user friendly.  

If you are on the fence buy the Kindle Fire.  It Kicks the Nooks Ass in more ways than one. 

The Taste ABC Tuesday at 8/7 central

The series features  chef Anthony Bourdain,  FoodNetwork  star Nigella Lawson, expert chef/author Ludo Lefebvre and chef/restaurateur Brian Malarkey. These four culinary superstars and mentors will each coach a team of four competing pro and amateur cooks chosen from a nationwide casting call.

I am thrilled that there is another cooking contest show on Network Tv.  This is Worst Cooks in America, Meets Masterchef, meets Iron Chef, Meets Top Chef meets Food Network Star.  In my opinion there can never be too many Cooking Contests.  I love the spirit of competition and love to see regular people cooking and competing.

The judges in this show will judge the dishes Blind.  Meaning they will not know whom cooked what dish.  I enjoy this aspect as we know that personalities can clash and we can subconsciously like someone enough to enjoy their food more than the rest.  Think of Grandma's Lasagna or whatever your Grandma's signature dish is.  You think it is better than any you ever tasted.  No one else can ever compare.  You will pick hers over anyone else if placed side by side.  Can you imagine not knowing you are judging Grandma's dish and another?  The other dish has a equal chance of tantalizing your taste buds.  Looks don't count, Sob Story doesn't count.  The only thing that counts is the food.  And that is the way it should be.  I also like that the contestants don't stand with their dish sweating it out and nervously making excuses while the judges taste their food.  Sometimes on the other shows I want to scream SHUT UP to these people because sometimes their nervous talk ruins the tasting experience and can influence the opinion.  I can't wait to see more of The Taste.  I will be recording the whole series on my DVR to make sure I never miss an episode.

Watch the Taste and come back and let me know what you think.  I will be blogging an episode by episode review and summary. 

Watch first episode here.  http://abc.tv/Z3jimp